kuwakchai s(h)itcom chapter 2!!

Author : Bluedrake a.k.a. Shippoukitsune
Title : Kuwakchai sitcom
Genre : humor,comedy, mild violence
Disclaimer : I do not own Kuwakchai or any of the game id that i will be mentioning except for Bluedrake

Characters involved : 6PP
: Oni
: Jacquelyn
: Dunhill
: Sang Kai
: annbiarshy

Chapter 2: Party time!

About a week later after moving in, the guys had made the house a little more presentable, and brought their stuff in. They had all gathered in the living room and Sang Kai had balanced a coke can onto Dunhill's head. Dunhill, who was sitting at the sofa was too busy smelling weird chemicals from his (1)bongs to notice it...

Sang Kai : Hey, Jac! Bet with you that I can shoot the can off his head with this revolver!
Jacquelyn : Bet you can't. You are a crappy shooter...
Sang Kai : Ok, watch me!!

Sang Kai aimed and then opened fire. The first shot missed Dunhill's head by an inch. He shot again, this time smashing the
bong Dunhill was holding. Miraculously, the bullet got stuck in the tube but it was enough to bring Dunhill back to reality...

Dunhill : My bong!! My best bong!! It took me weeks to make this!!! *Started to cry....* You bastard!! You... You...
Hey, where's all naked grannies?!?!
6 Path Of Pain : Why can't we ever have a meaningful conversation? Something deep and meaningful?
Oni : it's because all of you are (2)baka! I was amazed that fools like all of you didn't end up like your old friend
Sotsotdei!!
Annbiarshy : Speaking of friends, I've got Persephone and Ladyred coming to our house. They are my friends in my
college.
Oni : Aw, man!! Not Persephone! She's stalking me, convinced that I'm his girlfriend!!
Dunhill : She is definitely your girlfriend. Remember the story that the author wrote for you during Christmas?
Oni : That lousy story proves nothing....
Jacquelyn : Hey, since Persephone and Ladyred is coming, why don't we have a house party? We've not had one in for
years. There's plenty of people that we could invite over.
6 Path of Pain : Good idea! I will make the phone calls then. It's a good thing Crystele gave me a mobile phone for my
birthday last month because that crappy house phone works only at 10.00 am to 10.05 am. Dunhill, your
duty is to buy drinks and snacks for the guest while Sang Kai, sort out some fireworks.
Sang Kai : Can I try the cheap nuke that i bought from E-bay?
Everyone else : NOO!!!

Before anyone could start doing anything, the doorbell rang . Oni went down to answer the door...

Annbiarshy : Be nice to people this time!
Oni : Damn you! I hate annoying people! * Opened the door...*

It was Squidy and Silber at the door. They lived across the the streets and had come to welcome the neighbors. The two of them were really nice and pleasant people, the kind of people that Oni hates...

Squidy : Hi!! We're your neighbors. i'm Squidy and and this handsome man next to me is Silber. You might recognize
me as I'm the champion in the Kuwakchai Rumble Day in season 2.
Oni : Ah, I know you. You're the person that never sleeps and likes to go to the gym all day long...
Squidy : Hey, that hurts....
Silber : Well, everyone has their own opinions. Anyway, we've come to say hello and welcome all of you to our
neighborhood! Nice to meet you.
Squidy : From what I heard, you must be Oni. Everyone said that you're a big meanie but i bet that you are really
kind-hearted in the real life...
Oni : I'm not. i have been reading "1001 fun ways to kill someone using your fingers." and I need to try out on
someone using method 361. Both of you look like suitable victims...
Squidy : uh... um... Oh dear, look at the time! It's already so late! We would better be going back to our house,
Silber...
Silber : Uh, yeah! See you soon. Bye!

The two off them ran off screaming after their encounter with Oni. Back in the house, Oni told them it was a carpet salesman...

Later on, Annbiarshy's friends were the first to turn up. Ladyred was singing "beautiful Girls' song to herself while Persephone spotted Oni in his usual unpleasant self...

Persephone : Oni!! Ann didn't tell me that you lived here too!! Yay, now we can be together like a family!!
Oni : I told you before, I'm not your boyfriend. Why don't you court Dunhill instead?!?!
Persephone : I know that you really love me. Come and give me a hug!
Oni : Which part do you not understand that I'm not your boyfriend?! Leave me alone!! *Went back to his
room...*
Persephone : He's just shy. Wait till I get my hands on him...
Ladyred : Hey, Ann!! Did you sleep with EternalC yet??
Annbiarshy : I told you that I'm still not ready and EternalC respect that because he love me...
Ladyred : You will die an old maid at this rate. Anyway, EternalC couldn't wait any longer so I replaced you with me
in the bed with him...
Annbiarshy : Please tell me you are joking...
Ladyred : Too bad, I'm not. He loved it when I spank him while we had some fun. Remember these?

Ladyred pulled off something from her pocket. It was a pair of men's underwear and she spun it on her finger. However, Annbiarshy was confused though...

Annbiarshy : That underwear doesn't ring a bell to me...
Ladyred : SHIT!! Wrong underwear! Those are Bluedrake's!! Hold on * Pulled out another underwear...* What about
these??
Annbiarshy : Hey! I bought those for EternalC!! And i'm supposed to be his girlfriend! WAHHHHHH!!!!
Ladyred : Come on, don't be so sad. It was just a one night stan---
Jacquelyn : Who is making all the noise?!?!

Seeing Jacquelyn (Ladyred's idol) coming towards her, Ladyred started to squel like a fan girl...

Ladyred : OHMYGaWD!!! It's Jacquelyn!!! My heroin!!!
Jacquelyn : It's nice to see people appreciate true talents. I told Ann to have sex with EternalC but no... Now it's too
late for her.
Ladyred : You are my absolute idol! Please tell your secrets while you're having sex in the bed!! And the tricks with
ropes and blowtorch!!

Kuwakchai's biggest whore then proceeded talking about sex in a very graphical detail to Ladyred while Ann shut her eyes and ears while singing " La la la la, I can't hear you!"

Meanwhile, the drinks were ready and more guest started to arrive. Chan Wing-Yan came with a set of musical tools, having been hired as the DJ. Several people gathered around him as he played the music...

Frankenstein : YO DJ Chan Wing-Yan!! i have a job for you if you're interested!
Chan Wing-Yan : And what job is it?
Frankenstein : You see, as one of the top Kuwakchai Tai kor, I need a good theme song when I'm out in the streets. I
need some good entrance music...
Chan Wing-Yan : So what kind of gimmick do you want?
Frankenstein : You know the Digi theme song? I will follow you, I will follow wherever you may go....
Chan Wing-Yan : Got it!!

Everywhere else in the living room, people were enjoying the atmosphere. They were people drinking, fighting, telling dirty jokes, taking drugs and having weapon dealing all around the house. Sang Kai's attempt to make a firework display was a disaster. Perhaps it was the dynamite he attached to it because it blew up all of a sudden, injuring him much to everyone's amusement...

Everyone was having a good time except for Oni who had shut himself away from everyone. However, no one was prepared for the oncoming bad news...

6 Path of Pain : Guys, stop for a minute! I've a bad news! That old fart Yappy has just invited himself over to the party...
Jacquelyn : NO!!!!!
Dunhill : Please say it ain't him!! Anyone but HIM!!!

The room began to freeze and then one by one, guest started to make their way out...

Frankenstein : Hey Oni, I've just heard that my granny died... * ran off...*
Chan Wing-Yan : What a coincidence! My granny had just died too... * ran off...*
Ladyred : Must be something going around. My granny had just snuffed out too... * ran off...*
Squidy : Getting an sms... What's that? My granny died!!! * ran off...*

Everyone left and like others, their excuse was that their granny had died...

Persephone : I need to go back. My grandma had just kicked the bucket...
Oni : You heard my girlfriend. I'd better be going with her to her grandma's funeral...
Sang Kai : You are not going anywhere! Since you have admitted that she's not your girlfriend, you are not supposed
to go!
Annbiarshy : If we have to suffer from Yappy, then so do you!
Oni : Crap...
6 path of Pain : My girlfriend, Cyrstele just rang up. She was going to come but.....
Dunhill : Let me guess. She can't come for now because her granny died?
6 Path of Pain : Yeah...

Now everyone but the six housemates were left in the house. Shortly afterward, Yappy arrived. He was a boring old fart and unfortunately a master of telling confusing, overlong and tedious stories that made no sense...

Yappy : Hey guys! Where's the party that you're supposed to be having?
6 Path of Pain : The party was supposed to be yesterday. You are late.
Dunhill : I guess that you better go home now, dude...
Yappy : oh not at all! I find it nicer with just a few of you. Now, did I tell you about my days back in the war......
The others : *Under their breath...* Damn!!!

Hours had gone past and the old fart was still going on. Nothing he said made any sense but Yappy didn't find that as a problem. The guys were bored to death and Sang Kai looked at his handgun intently to shoot himself (Shooting Yappy with the gun will result a one whole year in federal jail for Sang Kai...) Dunhill had tried to get high with his drugs but Yappy's drowning voice had neutralized the effect. Ann tried closing her eyes and ears while muttering to herself but the sound just penetrated into her ears...

Yappy : And there was I, during Kuwakchai rumble day season 6, which took place in the KL Twin Tower... Back in
my days, Oni was an ah kua and Squidy was a squid. Did I mentioned that Silber was a serial rapist?? And
about the fact that Frankenstein was the first man to land on the sun?? Don't forget about the time.........

Like most uncles, yappy had the ability to drag those meaningless stories for ages. The gang had fallen asleep and we will have to leave them like this for now until the next chapter as the old fart was still going on and on, showing no sign of stopping...

Will the group survive after this torturing punishment? Don't forget to check out my next chapter then!!!
(1) bong : commonly known as a water pipe, is a smoking device
(2) baka : idiot

Due to my constantly brokendown pc and with me preparing to go to KL for studying tomorrow, I'm afraid that the stories could not be posted as fast as i had hoped. At least i get to post this before I'm off to KL. Until then, Shippoukitsune wants to rest ZZZ....